Speaking to your partner about debt

Years ago the hubby and I each had our own credit cards and credit lines. We were young, making decent money and living in the cheapest places we could find and driving the cheapest cars we could keep on the road. Eventually life caught up with us. Student loans became due, our cars were headed to the scrap yard and we needed to live in a real home. This was when I sat down and went through our finances. The total amount I had circled at the bottom of the list of debts blew me away. It was more than the two of us made in a year. I knew I had to discuss this with my partner but I also knew it had to be done in the right way. Some people get angry when discussing debt, others shut down, some cry, and others, like my hubby, become lost. They have no idea how to fix it and it seems overwhelming.

I chose a night when there were no activities and no friends coming over. I also waited until after dinner but before the tv got turned on for the night so I would have his full attention. Then I calmly explained how far in debt we were, how no one person was to blame more than the other (even though he already had a few cards in collection), and I explained how it was going to take the both of us to work our way out of the mess we had put ourselves in. We then spoke about how our finances were going to work in the future. This was the time we decided it would be best if I took over both my finances and his. It was not an easy talk to have, nor were the many follow up talks afterwards but we now have very little credit card debt as well as having a sound financial plan for the future.